Sunday, October 2, 2011

Girl in the Mirror


I was reading a novel in my bedroom, another fantasy theme, stories that i love, when my mom knocked my room. She gave me a biography of a successful young woman. By that time, i was thinking: "Okay, cool! I read it later. Way later after i finished this fantasy novel and maybe some other novels that i thought would be way more interesting. And with that i said "thanks" to my mom, pretending to start reading that book she gave me, and closing it right after my mom shut the door. And the book was forgotten, saved deep inside those piles of novels and books of mine.
Some weeks or months after that, i hardly cant remember, i was alone in my room, feeling sad. I just had a hard time due to a problem. Not my own problem. If it was my own problems, i usually could face them effectively. But unfortunately it was't my own problem. It was my family problem. The only problem in this whole world that is hard for me to handle. Because they were often beyond my control. And it hurts not me, but people that i loved, and it will hurt me more. The only thing i could do when it happened was praying. So, there i am in my room, alone. Praying. Thinking. Melting in my own thoughts. Usually in a bad day like this, whenever i felt sad or hopeless, i would find an activity to forget my problem, and importantly, to help me clearing my messed up brain, giving me a new energy to think better and find a solution. Most of the time, i would pick a book, coz reading always gave a sense of comfort for me. And that's when i accidentally saw that book given from my mom. I began reading it. The books told a story of a young girl who became success and having a lot of money in a very young age. With those success, he could make her parents proud of her. It really catched my emotion. The author really inspired me. Im not talking about making a lot of money here. Im talking about success. She is a successful daughter for her parents, a successful wife, a successful mother, and the greatest thing was that she was willing to share them with people around her. her life as a motivator became an impact for so many people. And she did charity too, something that has always been my interest.
After the book's done, i did some discussion, with someone no other than my self. I saw my face in the mirror and asked her: Wo are you? What do you really want to do in your life. And the answer came. It wasnt exactly an obvious answer that you could hear. But for me it was pretty obvious. I got the point of what i really wanted in a big picture. I remembered what the bible says in matthew 6:33 " But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

And i cried. And i prayed. Just a simple prayer...
" Dear God, i won't ask you to help this world. The only thing i ask you is to use me. Use all i am to help my family, and eventually help the world.."
And with that my resolution began...

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