She always with me like forever. As far as i could remember, she was always there beside me.

And now, she's gone. As simple as that.

She came to my house when i was just a baby. She became my babysitter, my brothers and my sisters as well. So, basically, we get used to live with her around. She might not the best babysitter in the world, there's a lot of things that even now, i still disagree with her attitude, but for difficult or happy moments our family have gone through, she is there, she knew it all. 22 years. is really not a short period. And it's almost impossible not to love her. She is like a family for us. At least for me, she is like my second mother...

2 years ago, She asked my mom to send her to her hometown. After some months, we heard that her diabetics gone bad, and even worst, that disease took her eyes. She then came back to our family, blind.  One thing i admire from her is her strength to accept her condition and trying to live her life normally. I saw her cutting onion and cooking, ironing clothes, and i kept wondering how she could do that without an ability to see. But miracle indeed happens when people have a very strong will. We often asked her to stop working and just resting a whole day, simply entertaining her self and living peacefully with us in our house. But she kept insisting to work. She said that she doesnt like to do nothing. Working made her happier. But that time time i understand very well. She wanted to work because she wanted to be handy and useful for us. And that's why she felt happier. She is happy when she felt that she is needed. One thing she doesnt understand. We always need her.

Time flies. Two years flies so fast, and her disease got worse. We brought her to many doctors. In and out of country. But, they all gave up. No doctors nor medicine could help her. And she is getting weaker and weaker. Sicker and sicker. We often heard her crying at night. Whispering that she is painful. And hopelessly, there's nothing we could do to erase those pain.

 Some weeks later, she decided to go back hometown. She wanted to meet her son and grandson. My mom and i took her to airport straight to her hometown. I remember chatting with her in the plane, holding her hand saying everything would be okay. Never came to my mind that it would be the last time i could ever have a conversation with her. She passed away in november. Leaving this world and all the person she love and loved her.

Farewell Bunda yuli.
ps: i love you