Take it or Leave it?

Lately, i've been in a very dilemmatic situation. So many things to think about. Decision decision decision. N u know what, i always hate taking decision. Because i know exactly, once i decide something, there's no turning back. And this time, it's not some easy peasy things like choosing my wallpaper, or clothes, or hairstyle, n so on. It's way more than that. It's about taking a major decision in my life. Choices between 'take it or leave it situation'. Choices between different paths of reaching my dream. And in that every choice, i can choose my action. I can choose the consequence. But i can not choose both. And i got no clue, of which should i take.. And yes, they make me scared. Really really scared. How if i take the wrong one?

After so many days of thinking + praying, i suddenly realized one thing. That actually, in the end, it doesn't matter what i decide. In the end, there is no such thing as a wrong decision.

I once made a decision that made me live in regrets for quite sometime. It happened long long time ago. and i thought it was the worst decision i ever took. I kept thinking, why i made that stupid decision. People said everything happened for a reason, and i kept asking the reason why. And i never quite sure why. Well, story of my life.

Anyway, thinking back, was that really a wrong decision?

Not the best one? maybe, yes. But wrong? umm, not exactly. Because it turns out that the 'once i thought was a wrong' decision, was actually something that made me to be who i am now. A better person. Because whether i like it or not. It gave me a precious lesson. I learned by mistake. And even though it's not a fun process, it helped me to grow up. So, the point is: why should im scared of taking a decision? Well, im still young, what's the worst thing can come if my choice doesn't turn out well? Whether i take it or leave it, i can still get something from it.

So now, i already made up a decision. It might be far from the word perfect and i really have no idea what the outcome will be. But i pray, by God's grace, it will turn out to be the best one. That's all i can do and let God do the rest...

EXAM's EFFECTS

There's a lot of side effects when exam is in the air : zombie syndrom, frequent delusions, brain disorder, you name it.

I will explain these Exam effects one by one.

ZOMBIE SYNDROM

If you watched the residents evil movie, you will know how these zombies looks like. Lifeless. And what is the only factor that control their movement? Nothing else but FOOD.

When facing 'approaching examination date', students will tend to think about one thing in their mind: EXAM exam exam! So, just like these zombies, they will basically move towards their instinct based on what they always think about, which is exam. So studying all the time is a must. Forget about sleep, forget about pleasure, just focus. study study study. And guess what? you will start to have some delusions.

FREQUENT DELUSIONS

When you always think about something in your mind, you will start to be obsessed with that thing. Since these students are sleep super super less, these obsession will results in some delusions. Even when they are ( finally ) sleep, these delusions still came to their dreams. If these things happen again and again, these will result in the third effect: Brain disorder.

BRAIN DISORDER

Memorising some 'super thick textbooks, understanding some formulas, calculating, memorising again and again. You are actually torturing your brain. Oh yeah. And dun forget about those stress and delusions. I wonder whether psychiatrists are being super busy during exam periods!

Ok ok, i know i must be a LIL BIT exaggerating with all those effects right now. Hey, i just being super cynical right now, okay?

Beside i made these theory based on some real facts, also, all of them have already been proved, to merely few of my classmates, except me though (I guess im just an ordinary 'superignorant' girls, hah! )

Anyway, there's one of the 'exam craZEness' that has been affecting me real hard, which is the ''uncontrollable desire of eating much more frequently''.

I know im not the hardworking type of person. I didn't even study like often. But still, i spent time much more at home and library now than before. And since i couldn't really focus of studyng during the day, which made me kind of awake 'studyng' at night to morning, i became super super hungry, like all the time. And even when i did not feel too hungry, the desire of eating kept popping out.

So my activities now became like this: wake up ( usually in the afternoon), shower, eat, open book for like 5 to 10 minutes, then gave up. start to turn on my labtop. FB-ing, Youtube-ing, etc etc while snacking at the same time. After some hours, started to feel guilty, and back to the textbook, felt hungry in the next 30 minutes. Eating while watching some youtube videos, kept making excuse: take some minutes break, then study later. Apparently, minutes turn into hours. Feel guilty again. Back to the book. read some sentences. snacking. read again. start to think: what's with this sh**? Fail in focusing. time to shower. Refresh. read again for some minutes, then realized it's already night: dinner time while listening to music. back to study, (usually can focus after pm turned into am). Snacking in the middle. tired. By this time i have 2 options: sleep or study. If continue to study then i need sm energy: food. either cook instant noodles or trying to hang on with hot milo. study. Sleeping.

So, as you can see i ate like almost every hour. FOOD=CALORIES. Too much calories means: Getting Fat!

My friend told me im gonna need those calories in exchange of the energy i used for studyng. Yeah, right! I didn't even use off all those calories. I saved energy much more than i spent. Wth! Calories in but no calories out. Gosh! I really hope i dun gain any weight!