This lil sister of mine is the youngest in my family. She is very lovely, independent, creative, smart, kind girl. Her only weakness is that she is too kind to others. And i found that she is like that because she felt insecure sometimes, and there's time when she wanted to be accepted by others. So i began with a question. I asked her: U have two choices now. You still want to be her friend or not? And she answered me that she still want to be her friend and stays in the group. So i told her: the only thing she could do right now is: be success! She stared at me, looking disbelieve with my answer. So i started to give her my explanation.
There's a lot of kinds of success in life. Success in career. Sucesss in family. Success in love. Success in friendship. And there's always key points to achieve each of those success, and the key points usually linked one to another. The same things about achieving all those success is about building relationship. To achieve a successful friendship, you indeed need to build a relationship. Planting, watering, fertilizing and let it grow well. Example of these building relationship things are: making a short message to your friends, asking how she doing, remembering a friend's birthday, cheer a friend in trouble, etc. It sounds simple, but not everybody doing that. They are too lazy to do it, too proud, etc. In fact, it is very important. and guess what, building relationship doesnt need a lot of effort, only consistent effort needed, and importantly: sincerity. Doing things sincerely gave you a positive thinking. A positive mind will create a positive attitude as well. It helps to spend your day with positive energy and thus will create a positive environment. Your friends will feel happy and comfortable staying around you.
Other things that is also important is being your self. This is very important, especially for someone insecure like my sister. I told her that she is very special, and how much love our family have for her. And i wish for her to do things that she wanted to do. A right one, and be proud of it. I also told her that there are two differences of : doing things to please your friend, and doing things right. Doing things just to make your friends happy, ignoring the reality that you didnt agree with the thing they asked you to do. example: your friends asking you to steal, helping them cheating in examination, and some other bad things. will only lead you of being someone else. A stranger. Doing things right, things based on your principles, on things that you thing is right, will lead you to be a great person, being your own self. I gave her example, why the mean girl in the group had such power to make the other girls followed her. She never did things to please her friends. She did things that she thought is right, and not afraid to be her true self. I didnt mean to ask her to be mean like her. While you being mean, you will arrived in a point when other people around you realizing how uncomfortable they were with the mean attitude and sooner or later, they wont accept that anymore. Im talking about being your self. And im sure my sister is a better person than being another mean girl. The point is doing things to please your friend will give you a lot of friends, a fake one, disloyal, betrayer, useless friends. Doing thing right, based on your true self, will give you bestfriends, good friends, loyal, honest, useful, true friends for life.
I told my sister to do a little experiments in her social life about building relationship with sincerity, positive mind and attitude, and of course based on herself. The result was like what's expected. Her friends started to talk to her again, and she didnt have to do things with intention to please others, nor pretending of being someone else. She could be herself. Positive, sincere, have a lot of good friends, and importantly, being happy with her self :)
