She always with me like forever. As far as i could remember, she was always there beside me.

And now, she's gone. As simple as that.

She came to my house when i was just a baby. She became my babysitter, my brothers and my sisters as well. So, basically, we get used to live with her around. She might not the best babysitter in the world, there's a lot of things that even now, i still disagree with her attitude, but for difficult or happy moments our family have gone through, she is there, she knew it all. 22 years. is really not a short period. And it's almost impossible not to love her. She is like a family for us. At least for me, she is like my second mother...

2 years ago, She asked my mom to send her to her hometown. After some months, we heard that her diabetics gone bad, and even worst, that disease took her eyes. She then came back to our family, blind.  One thing i admire from her is her strength to accept her condition and trying to live her life normally. I saw her cutting onion and cooking, ironing clothes, and i kept wondering how she could do that without an ability to see. But miracle indeed happens when people have a very strong will. We often asked her to stop working and just resting a whole day, simply entertaining her self and living peacefully with us in our house. But she kept insisting to work. She said that she doesnt like to do nothing. Working made her happier. But that time time i understand very well. She wanted to work because she wanted to be handy and useful for us. And that's why she felt happier. She is happy when she felt that she is needed. One thing she doesnt understand. We always need her.

Time flies. Two years flies so fast, and her disease got worse. We brought her to many doctors. In and out of country. But, they all gave up. No doctors nor medicine could help her. And she is getting weaker and weaker. Sicker and sicker. We often heard her crying at night. Whispering that she is painful. And hopelessly, there's nothing we could do to erase those pain.

 Some weeks later, she decided to go back hometown. She wanted to meet her son and grandson. My mom and i took her to airport straight to her hometown. I remember chatting with her in the plane, holding her hand saying everything would be okay. Never came to my mind that it would be the last time i could ever have a conversation with her. She passed away in november. Leaving this world and all the person she love and loved her.

Farewell Bunda yuli.
ps: i love you

Success in Friendship

Today, while driving in my car with my lil sister, right after buying some books in a book store, she started a conversation about her problems to me, something she always did. Me, like usual, being a good listener, analysing her problems and trying to find a solution for her. So, i stopped my car in a new sushi restaurant in town, so we could have a better conversation. After some plates of delicious sushi, she started telling me how mean was her best friends towards her, how they treated her very unfairly, and she felt betrayed because of that. She joined a girl's gank at her school and made good friends with them. One of the girl who was like the leader in the group, suddenly ignored her, and all the girls in the same group started doing the same thing to follow this girl. And she felt really disappointed with this one girl, because my sis felt that she didnt do anything wrong to make her angry, furthermore, she didn't understand how could all the girls in the group followed this girl, even though she was very bossy, mean, and moody. I listened to her attentively, doing some analysing before i made my conclusion, and i knew she was waiting for my answer, a solution. For me, this is one of the best part of being an older sister and having a younger sister who trusted me: I could be useful. I might not smarter than her, but i have more experiences, and im eager to share them to my precious sister. in a word: I can help. And of course, while writing this post, i hope i can help those people out there, who were struggling with the same problems, and i humbly wish i could help.

This lil sister of mine is the youngest in my family. She is very lovely, independent, creative, smart, kind girl. Her only weakness is that she is too kind to others. And i found that she is like that because she felt insecure sometimes, and there's time when she wanted to be accepted by others. So i began with a question. I asked her: U have two choices now. You still want to be her friend or not? And she answered me that she still want to be her friend and stays in the group. So i told her: the only thing she could do right now is: be success! She stared at me, looking disbelieve with my answer. So i started to give her my explanation.

There's a lot of kinds of success in life. Success in career. Sucesss in family. Success in love. Success in friendship. And there's always key points to achieve each of those success, and the key points usually linked one to another. The same things about achieving all those success is about building relationship. To achieve a successful friendship, you indeed need to build a relationship. Planting, watering, fertilizing and let it grow well. Example of these building relationship things are: making a short message to your friends, asking how she doing, remembering a friend's birthday, cheer a friend in trouble, etc. It sounds simple, but not everybody doing that. They are too lazy to do it, too proud, etc. In fact, it is very important. and guess what, building relationship doesnt need a lot of effort, only consistent effort needed, and importantly: sincerity. Doing things sincerely gave you a positive thinking. A positive mind will create a positive attitude as well. It helps to spend your day with positive energy and thus will create a positive environment. Your friends will feel happy and comfortable staying around you.

Other things that is also important is being your self. This is very important, especially for someone insecure like my sister. I told her that she is very special, and how much love our family have for her. And i wish for her to do things that she wanted to do. A right one, and be proud of it. I also told her that there are two differences of : doing things to please your friend, and doing things right. Doing things just to make your friends happy, ignoring the reality that you didnt agree with the thing they asked you to do. example: your friends asking you to steal, helping them cheating in examination, and some other bad things. will only lead you of being someone else. A stranger. Doing things right, things based on your principles, on things that you thing is right, will lead you to be a great person, being your own self. I gave her example, why the mean girl in the group had such power to make the other girls followed her. She never did things to please her friends. She did things that she thought is right, and not afraid to be her true self. I didnt mean to ask her to be mean like her. While you being mean, you will arrived in a point when other people around you realizing how uncomfortable they were with the mean attitude and sooner or later, they wont accept that anymore. Im talking about being your self. And im sure my sister is a better person than being another mean girl. The point is doing things to please your friend will give you a lot of friends, a fake one, disloyal, betrayer, useless friends. Doing thing right, based on your true self, will give you bestfriends, good friends, loyal, honest, useful, true friends for life.

I told my sister to do a little experiments in her social life about building relationship with sincerity, positive mind and attitude, and of course based on herself. The result was like what's expected. Her friends started to talk to her again, and she didnt have to do things with intention to please others, nor pretending of being someone else. She could be herself. Positive, sincere, have a lot of good friends, and importantly, being happy with her self :)

Thanks, bro!

Today a very good friend of mine, made me a picture of myself. I like the pics so so much. It's just so awsome! I cant help but post the pics here, haha. Thanks a lot brotha!